A Concussion, a Confession and a Closet
by CaseyRachel88
Summary: Reid has a concussion, so Hotch stays the night. It leads to an accidental confession of love, with Hotch having to get Reid to come out of the closet – literally! How Reid and Hotch began their relationship. SLASH!


A Concussion, a Confession and a Closet

CaseyRachel88

Summary: Reid has a concussion, so Hotch stays the night. It leads to an accidental confession of love, with Hotch having to get Reid to come out of the closet – literally! How Reid and Hotch began their relationship. SLASH!

Rating: T - just to be safe.f

Disclaimer: They're not mine. Not even a psychopath is that crazy. :-)

Any and all feedback is appreciated – feel free to point out any errors, tell me fhat does and doesn't work, etc. :-)

* * *

fHotch helped Reid enter into his home. They'd just finished a stalker-turned-murderer case in Iowa. Reid had been the key that finally saw the hidden clues in the notes he had left for the women he stalked, and had put the pieces together to help finish the profile. That done, they had managed to corner the Unsub before he could take his next victim while she was heading to work; not wanting to go down without a fight, the man had thrown a ceramic plate at the agents who were trying to bring him in after using all of his ammunition earlier. As luck would have it, Reid had been unable to move out of the way in timfe and had taken a strong knock to the head. It had hit the unfortunate agent so hard he had been knocked out stone cold for a few minutes.

The hospital had cleared Reid to go home that same afternoon, because thanks to the angle the plate had struck, there had not been serious damage. However, the team had been instructed to wake Reid throughout the night to be sure the concussion hadn't been more severe than they had thought. Essentially, someone had to babysit him until the twenty-four hour mark had passed.

Although each of the team had offered to stay the night with Reid, Hotch was the one to take the task. JJ needed to get home to Will and Henry, Garcia had Kevin, Emily was receiving a visit from her mother the next day, Rossi had a family event, and Morgan needed to get home to Clooney. Besides, Morgan had taken it upon himself to make sure the youngest member of the BAU team didn't drift off while on the plane ride back, and had taken to startling Reid whenever the younger man appeared to be on the verge of relaxing. No matter how many times Reid explained that the idea of not letting a concussion patient sleep was actually not used anymore, Morgan had been overly concerned and wasn't really listening to him. It had taken all Hotch had in him not to laugh when he had ordered Morgan to leave an extremely grouchy Reid alone. It wouldn't be a good thing for Morgan to be responsible for Reid for the evening.

Hotch had no one waiting for him at home and no plans, so he didn't mind sacrificing a night to make sure his agent was uninjured. Since Haley had left him and taken Jack, he'd only seen his son on certain weekends. While Haley was wonderful about making sure her son had ample opportunities to visit his father whenever he was home, she had taken him to see her parents for the weekend. So Hotch would be keeping an eye on Reid for the night and part of the next day to be sure he was fine.

The hit to his head had left Reid with such a bad headache that he was nearly dizzy with pain at first. A few Tylenols later, there was only a slight throb, but the medicine was wearing off now. Reid wanted nothing more than to shower then sleep, especially after Morgan's teasing had begun to fry his nerves.

He didn't think it necessary that Hotch stay with him, but this had happened enough times in the past to know it was an argument the youngest agent would never win, so he allowed his boss into his home with as much grace as possible.

"Food's in the fridge," he mumbled as soon as they had crossed the threshold. "Got some water, juice and milk in there too. The remote is on the table in the living room, there are books everywhere, DVD's are on a shelf. Make yourself at home. I'm going to take a shower." With that, Reid walked straight to his bathroom, closed the door and turned the water on.

Hotch looked around uncertainly. He hadn't been in Reid's home before, and he felt strangely like he was invading his space. The place Reid lived in was situated over a seamstress' business, right next to a coffee shop. It was very Reid-ish, as Hotch thought of it.

Deciding there was nothing for it, Aaron began to hunt around the kitchen until he found some soup. After checking the expiration date – in their line of work, that was always a good policy to have – he dumped the chicken noodle soup into a pot and turned the stove on to heat.

With nothing to do but make himself at home while he waited for Reid, he smiled slightly at the thought of the younger man. Since Haley had left, Hotch had gotten a warm feeling when the two were together. Realizing it for what it was, Hotch had done his best to prevent putting himself in a situation where he and Reid were alone for certain things, such as sharing a room when working on a case. Of course there was no danger of anything occurring while they were on the job. He had a full-blown crush on Reid, but he could not – no, would not, act on that impulse. Reid deserved more than what he could offer. He had no plan of ever acting on that impulse, even if he did enjoy the feelings he got when Spencer looked his way.

In reality, Aaron really couldn't even classify what he felt as a "crush" anymore. He was in love with Spencer Reid. Somehow in the midst of the constant sputtering of statistics, the coffee that was more sugar than anything else, and the closeness they already shared from their team, the young man had unknowingly invaded Hotch's heart and begun breaking down barriers Aaron had purposefully erected to keep people out.

At one point, Aaron had suspected that Reid had a crush on him, but that was years ago and it could easily have been a case of hero worship – which Reid seemed to have for just about everyone on the BAU team when he started. But even if Reid was over it, it appeared Aaron was just coming full into his own feelings, and it hit him hard each time Spencer's eyes lit up with a smiled.

Stepping away from that train of thought, Aaron turned on the television. The Learning Channel came on automatically, much to Aaron's amusement, and he channel surfed before landing on the Five-Thirty News, attempting to lose himself within the segment about the new animal the zoo was supposed to be getting soon.

Reid was out of it. He had mechanically scrubbed himself down, being careful of the large bump that was forming on the right side of his head. The pain in his head was coming on full force, and Reid almost regretted turning down the offer for pain-killers. His vision blurred just a bit as he turned the water off and wrapped a towel around himself. He walked into his room after drying himself off, and suddenly began to worry what to wear.

Pajamas? Hell no, not with Hotch out there. The clothes he would normally wear when going to work? That was better than pajamas, but he really didn't want to put all that on and then change back into sleep clothes when he went to bed.

Damn, if only it had been Morgan who had taken him home. Damn Clooney for needing him. Damn dogs, and animals in general too. Damn, damn, damn.

"Reid, you okay in there?"

Spencer could hear Aaron's call even with his door closed. "Fine, be out in a minute," he responded slowly. He must be moving slower than he thought. Deciding that he would go with something in between, Reid grabbed a pair of sweatpants, an undershirt and a CalTech sweater he had gotten a few years ago. That would work.

Spencer had liked Hotch for a while now. Maybe since Gideon had left, or maybe since the first day he started at the BAU. It must have existed before, because he'd felt it intensify when Gideon vanished, but he had thought it had just been in reaction to his mentor's unexpected departure. Weeks turned to months though; he realized those feelings weren't there because he felt abandoned. He was genuinely falling in love with Aaron Hotchner. _Aaron Hotchner!_ Not knowing what to do with those feelings, Spencer had shoved them down and chastised himself whenever he found himself wishing Aaron would put a hand on his shoulder or smile at him. He was thankful that they hadn't had to share a hotel room – that might have been torture.

Deciding he had spent far too long thinking (soon Hotch would be concerned and come check on him) he dressed quickly. He came out to find Aaron dishing two bowls of something from a pot on the stove and carrying them to the table. "I made soup," Hotch said, "I hope that's okay. I figured you should eat something – I don't know about you, but I missed lunch."

Reid nodded, still feeling like he his mind was covered in a thick goo which prohibited him from function at full capacity. The two ate in silence, and then watched a TV program until ten thirty, when Reid stood up and announced he was going to bed. He offered Hotch the bed and he'd sleep out on the couch, but his superior would hear none of it. So Reid gave a quick tour of the apartment, ending with showing Aaron to the tiny hallway, which had his bedroom as the door on the left, the bathroom on the right, and a fairly large closet that opened up at the end of the hall way where blankets were stored. Host duties done, he retired to bed with the understanding that Hotch would wake him periodically throughout the night.

Hotch fell asleep almost immediately, and was woken two hours later by the alarm on his phone. He stood up, and walked to Reid's slightly-cracked door, knocking softly. "Reid? It's 12:30 – time for a concussion check."

A strangled groan escaped the door. "Ugh, yes I'm awake. Now I'm going back to sleep…" Reid still sounded half-asleep, but aware enough to satisfy Hotch. He made his way back to the sofa and went back to sleep, attempting not to imagine how Spencer must have looked, sleepy and bleary. That thought he ruthlessly put away: he was not supposed to be picturing his subordinate like that.

Two hours later, the same procession occurred. The alarm went off, Hotch walked to Reid's door. Just as he was about to rap the door, he heard a slight gasp and soft murmurings, then a soft sob. Hoping his agent wasn't having a nightmare but suspecting that he was, Hotch pushed the door to the room open more, thankful for the small nightlight that cast enough light on the floor for him to see the room's layout. Falling over something and creating a loud crash probably wouldn't be the kindest way to wake someone from a nightmare.

"Reid? Reid?"

The young man was clearly caught in the throes of a nightmare. "Please," he whispered, "I'm sorry – I didn't mean to. I didn't. Please. N-n-no! Don't hurt them! Hotch!"

Aaron's heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name, although he was concerned that panic was coloring Spencer's voice. Even though Aaron had been repeating "Reid" while he walked across the room –each time a louder than the last– it clearly wasn't getting through. He touched the younger man's arm, hoping the physical touch would ground him, but that seemed to agitate him further. Reid's eyes flew half open, but clearly he was still asleep.

"No! Please… Hotch! Don't hurt him!"

"SPENCER – wake up!"

The using his first name had done the trick. The young agent's eyes cleared, and his rapid breathing began to slow. He reddened as he realized that his boss had caught him in the midst of a nightmare, screaming.

"I-I'm sorry, Hotch, I didn't mean to wake you, it was just a nightmare, go back to sleep, it's okay, I'm fine, I'm really sorry…" Reid was rambling, and it wasn't until Hotch touched his arm again that he stopped.

"It's fine, Reid. I'd come for a concussion check. I think you should stay awake for a while, since it took awhile to bring you out of that nightmare. I don't know if it was the dream, or your head, but I don't want to risk it."

Spencer nodded, sitting up from his bed, blinking. He reached over, pulling his glasses on and peering at the alarm clock on the table near his bed. "Hotch, it's 2:30 in the morning, go to sleep, I'll be fine; I'll stay up and read for a while."

Hotch had the good graces to smirk. "If you actually think I'd let that happen, you were hit harder than the doctors thought. Come on, I saw you have a chess board. We can play. I'm not as good as Gideon, but I'm not horrible."

Reid smiled, although there was the pained flash with the mention of his former mentor. He also tried not to notice that Hotch's hand was still on his shoulder. God, if only Hotch actually knew what that meant to him… He refused to dwell on that thought – it was impossible. _Focus! Stay awake, play chess with Hotch. Ignore feelings at all costs. Okay._ "Okay," he agreed, rising from bed.

Even though he was still not fully awake, a few minutes later, Reid was engrossed in the game when Hotch asked the question Reid didn't really want to talk about. "What was your nightmare about?"

Brown eyes darted from the board to Hotch's face before dropping once more. Aaron's body posture clearly said he wasn't going to let this go.

So he decided to roll with it. "Unsub had trapped us in a room," he said lightly, "He'd promised to let someone go and told me to choose who. I picked you, and then the Unsub pointed his gun and shot you instead. That's when I woke up."

_Well, that explains the screaming_, Hotch thought. "Reid, we're all fine. It was just a dream."

"I know that. But it was a dream that ended up getting you killed."

"It wasn't real. And even if it was, you picked someone to release, not shot."

"But it was you!" Reid said. Abruptly, a blush crept up his face, tinting even his ears pink. _Damn,_ he thought, _why the hell did I say that? God, I really must be more out of it than I realized…_

Hotch was perplexed by the sudden color flaming Reid's face. "Why would it matter who it was?" After a moment of silence, Hotch asked again, this time his voice more insistent because he could see his agent was hiding something. "Reid, why would it matter that it was me, and not anyone else on the team?" Again, silence. _Could it because he still feels guilty about naming me when he was kidnapped by __Hankel__? I thought we were past that, but if so, I need to set him straight once and for all… _His voice was even stronger this time. "I think I deserve an answer, Reid..." _Because not knowing may drive me crazy,_ Hotch thought. "Reid!"

"ItmattersbecauseIthinkI'mfallinginlovewithyou." The words came out in a rush, no pause in between and no breathe marking the end of one word or the beginning of the next. _It matters because I think I'm falling in love with you. _The words were out of his mouth before he'd even considered the consequences of what those words could do. _What happened to ignoring feelings at all costs?_ he wailed mentally.

His brain, which had felt like it was swimming through a pool of chocolate pudding since he'd been hit, suddenly kicked into overdrive, presenting him so many possible outcomes: Hotch being awkward with him every single time they were working together. Being removed from the team. Being laughed at. Hotch rejecting him. Briefly, the thought that Hotch might possibly feel the same entered his mind before being discounted immediately. Right now he was going for minimal loss.

His eyes met Aaron's. Hotch's eyes had widen when what was said clicked into understanding; he'd said nothing, although only about two seconds had elapsed. Could it be possible? Could Spencer be having the same feelings? Was that even possible – had Hotch done something that had caused Reid to say this, made him feel pressured? Just hearing those words… it made him want to hear them again, slower this time, intentionally said instead of the accidental confession he knew it was…

Reid suddenly stood up and fled past him into the hall. Spencer heard the soft, "Wait, Reid, wait," from Aaron, but he darted away. Aaron was on his heels. Why hadn't he ran towards his front door instead of running towards the bedroom that Aaron now was currently was blocking?

He considered brushing by the older agent and locking the door to his bedroom, but he had a feeling Aaron would manage to grab him or break down the door. Locking himself in his bathroom would be easy enough to do; however tile echoes, and because he expected Aaron to berate him for what he'd said, he wasn't sure his aching head could handle yelling personified.

That left only one thing to do. Spencer spun around, opened the door of his closet, swung the door closed and sat down on the cool floor. Pulling his knees to his chest, Spencer knew it was childish, but he had no other plan: he was hiding in the closet.

Aaron was speechless for the first minute or so. First, to be so aptly slammed in the face with Reid's confession – which, it appeared was a compete accident caused by the after effects of a knock on the head and it being woken at almost three a.m. with nightmares – and then needing to chase Reid down as he apparently intended to lock himself in a room and pretend nothing happened. That wasn't an option for Aaron.

Thoughts were spinning so quickly he could hardly process them all. Spencer couldn't possibly be feeling the same way Aaron did. Maybe Reid felt pressured from his prodding for an answer, maybe he'd had done something that had pressured Reid into feeling like he had to say those words. Clearly something had caused Reid to say that.

"Reid, Re- Spencer, come back out here." Aaron could hear through the door that Spencer's breathing had quickened. "Come out."

A hysterical laugh was heard before Spencer spoke. "I think that's what I just DID!"

Aaron smiled. This really wasn't funny, but at the same time, it was. The phrase "coming out the closet" had never been so true. Almost as soon as he'd smiled though, he felt like he should stifle it. He really didn't remember genuinely smiling more than once or twice since Haley had left him. Laughter and smiles seemed to be reprieves from the punishment he was receiving that he so aptly deserved.

"Spencer," his voice serious now, "I'm going say this one more time: come out of the closet."

It didn't take a genius to know Hotch had meant the literal closet, instead of the figurative one, but apparently Reid was hiding in both and had no intention of leaving of his own accord. Aaron sighed. _Well, if you can't beat them, join them._

Thirty seconds later, Hotch opened the closet, sat down on the floor beside Reid, and then shut the doors. Shafts of light came through the slats, yielding just enough light for Aaron to see that Spencer was sitting with his knees pulled to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs, chin resting on the tops of his knees, hair falling everywhere. Hotch sat down Indian style, his knees brushing against Reid's socked feet.

The silence was deafening.

"So," Spencer finally said after what felt like an eternity of silence, "This is my closet."

Maybe it was the tension that had built up since Reid had blurted out what he had, or maybe it was just one of those moments, but suddenly the two of them were laughing. It wasn't the type of laughter that was forced or polite, but the kind that came only with awkward situations where neither person was entirely comfortable, but still felt free enough to enjoy the moment for what it was. The type of laughter that made difficult things a little easier.

When the agents finally composed themselves, Aaron made the suggestion both knew was coming. "Well, should we take this into the living room to talk? I think both of us need to discuss some things, and I don't know that the floor of your closest is the best place to do that."

Reid nodded reluctantly, and allowed Hotch to open the doors, stand up, and step out. He offered a hand to the younger agent, who accepted help to stand and walk out of the closet.

As Hotch led the way back to Reid's couch, Spencer veered off and walked into the kitchen. Sure that he wasn't going to make a run for it, Hotch let him be, deciding to survey the room in the mean time.

It really was Reid, right down to the core. He'd been so tired he hadn't done more than a cursory glance over it earlier, but now he really looked. There were books, as he'd expected, and furniture that clearly was based more for comfort than looks. The place wasn't a neat and tidy, but it wasn't insanely messy either. It looked lived in. "Controlled chaos," Hotch muttered. He realized that he was profiling the place without consciously deciding to do so, and so he changed tactics. He stood up, glancing at the CD's that lined certain shelves. Beethoven, Chopin, Bach, and other classical works were in abundance. Several science fiction movies were stacked on a DVD rack. Hotch smiled at several of the titles, remembering back to his own college days when he and friends would have "bad movie marathons" – most of the titles they had watched were sitting on Reid's shelf, although there was a fair share of good movies as well.

The books clearly had some type of order to them, but it wasn't one that Hotch could see. Books on everything from Chaos Theory to Linguistics took up almost every available shelf space. Maybe the only way to figure out the rhyme and reason to the apartment was to be a genius.

A few minutes later, Spencer stepped back in the room, far more composed and carrying two large mugs. When one was proffered, Aaron reached out and grasped one, finding it filled with hot chocolate instead of coffee. Reid grinned slightly. "My mom always made me hot chocolate when I was upset," he said, by way of an explanation. "I never outgrew the habit. I hope you like marshmallows."

The two sat down on the sofa, sinking into the cushions that had a comfort made only by age and use.

"We need to talk about this," Hotch finally said.

The younger agent stared intently into his mug. Everything about him screamed defensive, and Aaron resisted the urge to sigh.

"I'm sorry," Spencer said at last as he sipped his drink. His voice was quiet, subdued. Remorseful?

That clearly wasn't what Hotch was expecting. He barely stopped himself from asking, _"Sorry for what?" _Instead he let the silence ride.

"I-I was out of line. I had no right to say that to you. I hope you can let this go, I don't want to transfer to a different unit, but I will if it…"

Sometimes, understanding comes on someone slowly, greeting them like a friend they didn't know they had. And other times, it hits like a train and leave the person reeling from the impact. This was one of those other times. Realization suddenly hit Aaron: Spencer hadn't denied what he'd said. He'd apologized – ridiculously – for what he'd said, talked about relating it to the job, but he never said, "I didn't mean it, just forget it" and he hadn't said, "I thought that was what you wanted to hear." When someone gets caught in a lie like that, it's always the first thing they say. Reid wasn't doing that.

Could that mean Reid had been honest? That Dr. Spencer Reid, the resident genius of the BAU, was _interested_ in _him_? It seemed impossible.

When Hotch tuned back in to Spencer's words, he found the younger man had worked himself into a panic. "…and that's why, scientifically, being hit on the head may not have the direct ability to alter one's ability to have a filter on their mouth, but when that is combined with the other things, it can cause me to say idiotic things - which is clearly what happened tonight. Right? So you won't fire me, will you, Hotch?"

Aaron smiled at Reid. "Reid, I wouldn't fire you anyway. You belong on the BAU team, and no one would disagree with that. But-"

Spencer visibly relaxed at the words, although he was perplexed by the smile splayed across Aaron's face. "Thank you, Hotch. Again, I'm so sorry, it won't-"

"I didn't finish."

Spencer seemed to wilt in front of his eyes. "Oh," he said softly. "Sorry." He motioned for Aaron to continue.

"Like I said: no one would disagree that you belong on the team. But… what would you say if I told you I feel the same way?" There. He'd said it.

Actually, he hadn't said it. Not really. What he'd said had been vague, and he'd used the most roundabout way possible, but he couldn't just say, 'So I think I'm falling in love with you too, can I take you out to dinner tomorrow night?' In fact, the phrase "falling in love with you" should be avoided no matter what: he was Spencer's boss. It went without saying that this was not following FBI policy.

Aaron wasn't sure when he'd dropped eye contact with Spencer, but he fought to reestablish it again. When he did manage to look up again, confusion was filling Reid's eyes. He seemed to form his words carefully, selecting each word with care. "What are you saying, Hotch?" The words were spoken slowly, as if testing to be sure that each would be received correctly.

Aaron had never had a problem finding his courage before, and he damn well refused to let it be a problem now. "I am saying that I think I'm falling in love with you too." Damn. There went any attempts to avoid the falling-in-love phrase. Hotch braced himself for any fallout that might occur.

Confusion was still running through Reid's eyes. "Do you mean – do you mean, that you want to- that you and I could, that the two of us would be able to-" Reid had apparently lost all ability to speak in full sentence. With a wry smile, Hotch suspected it might be the first time since he was born that he couldn't form coherent thoughts.

Setting his now-empty mug onto the coffee table in front of the couch the two of them were sitting on, Aaron turned his body to fully face the younger man. "Reid – Spencer. I think you and I should go to bed now, before this gets complicated. Right now is not the time to talk about this. It's almost 3:30, you're fully coherent, so I don't think you need to go to the emergency room about your head. Why don't we go back to bed, think about this some more, get some sleep and then we'll talk about it in the morning."

Reid nodded, still slightly stunned, but knowing that nothing should be decided when he had a concussion, Hotch was low on sleep and it was three am. The two went back to their respective beds.

Hotch woke Reid twice more throughout the night. He didn't step foot in the room; Reid woke easily, then seemed to drift back to sleep.

Hotch was not as fortunate. What was he thinking? Was he seriously considering a relationship with Reid, assuming Spencer even wanted to be in a relationship with him? This could end so badly…

The job really wasn't what he was concerned about. Hell, if something happened, Hotch's career would survive. Reid's would be destroyed, but as twisted as it was, Hotch would sufferer minimum repercussions. Of course if something like that DID happen Aaron would step down and give Reid the opportunity to continue with the FBI. The young man had more talent and natural skill than anyone he'd ever seen, even if he over-thought things to the point that he failed his gun qualifications. Aaron had other job offers and positions that he could take, although they may not leave him with the feeling of accomplishment and worthwhile that the BAU gave him.

But beyond even that, what if it ended badly… and someone ended up with a broken heart? Aaron had felt like his heart had literally been ripped from his chest when he walked into that empty house the first time after Haley had left, and that break was torn open further the next dozen times or so he entered. When he was younger, he'd always assumed that the term "broken heart" was figurative – going in that house that was no longer a home had proven him wrong: broken hearts were literal pains radiating from the chest. He had slept on the couch for a week, unable to bear being in the same room he had shared with Haley. Was he willing to risk that feeling again? The mere thought of going through it made him shudder.

The more he thought, the more reasons for not being in a relationshipfwith the younger agent piled up. Hotch had a mental pros and cons list going: the only Pro he could think of was that he really, truly was in love with Reid. But the relationship wouldn't be fair to the younger man. Aaron couldn't offer the other man what he truly deserved, and therefore simply could not let this happen, even if he was in love with Dr. Spencer Reid.

In the other room, similar thoughts were whirling through Reid's mind, but they came to the exact opposite conclusion. After he thought about what his mother might say if she discovered her only son was in a relationship with another man (compounded with the fact that Hotch was a governmental employee and therefore automatically suspected of evil plots), he thought about what that would mean for his job. Obviously they would not be able to let anyone outside of the team know what was going, possibly even keeping it a secret from the team. It would be the end of his career with the FBI if word got out. The thought of not being in the BAU anymore was unfathomable, but there were other options for Spencer. Every year, dozens of requests were sent to him; jobs in everything from conducting research to being a professor at prestigious universities were offered. He sent them all letters thanking them for the offer and politely turning them down, every year.

Looking back, he realized that he'd fallen for Aaron Hotchner the moment that they were introduced on his first day. He'd been a nervous wreck, as usual, but when he had been introduced to his new boss, the nerves had been so much worse. It was a few days later that Reid realized it wasn't just hero worship that he was feeling, but rather the beginnings of a crush. The crush turned into a real love somewhere along the way. He'd never imagined that Hotch could feel the same but – God, if he did…

He had compiled a list of pros and cons, and in the end, being in a relationship with Aaron Hotchner outweighed any negatives that could occur. He was willing to give it a shot.

After having a breakfast of cold cereal and hot coffee, Spencer couldn't take it anymore. "Hotch, you said we should talk about what happened last night in the morning… should we do that – now?"

Hotch felt like he would rather be struck by lightning than have the conversation that was about to take place. _Perhaps_, he thought ironically, _I should go hide in the closet. Seemed to work for Spencer last night…_ "Of course," he answered, instead.

They sat down on the couch, a full space open between them.

"I don't think we should do this."

"I think we should do it."

The two spoke simultaneously, and both looked surprised at the other's answer.

Reid spoke first this time. "You – you don't want to? Hotch, I thought-"

"Reid – Spencer, please let me speak first. I thought about this all last night. I didn't lie to you last night, but this, US being together - it wouldn't be fair to you. I have bad luck with relationships. I caused the collapse of my marriage because I essentially cheated on Haley with my career. I push the team too hard, exposing you all to more risk than is fair - it's no wonder Elle and Gideon left. I am a control freak. I have no sense of humor, and I'm a heartless perfectionist. My self-control isn't what it should be so I drive myself harder. You're not thinking through what you only think you want. " There. That would make Reid understand, before he got hurt or one of the hundreds of ways this could end occurred. Spencer deserved far more than Aaron could offer him, and at the moment, all he had to even offer was a broken heart that had only just begun to heal.

Reid considered what he'd heard for a moment. "What if I already know that and don't care?" Spencer's hands waved in the air as he spoke, emphasizing his words. "Most of that isn't even true anyway. Your marriage ended because Haley refused to accept who you are; this job means sacrifices. If she wasn't prepared for that, it's on her. She promised for better or worse and broke that promise. You don't push us too hard. Elle and Gideon left because they couldn't handle this job anymore, not because of your leadership. I won't say you're not a control freak because you really are, but you do have a sense of humor – even if you don't use it. You may be a perfectionist, but you are NOT heartless. You care for the victims and their families more than anyone I've ever met. And, honestly, your self-control can't be stronger without turning to steel. That sounded like a list of reasons meant to scare me off."

Hotch resisted the urge to grimace. That's exactly what that was, he realized. And even more than that, Spencer was being honest. He was apparently willing to take Aaron, flaws and all.

"Hotch," Reid said softly, "I think we could make this work."

"I'm still getting over Haley," Aaron warned. "I know it's been a few months, and I'm doing better but… Spencer, are you sure you want this? Because I can't do it halfway. It has to be all or nothing with me."

Reid already knew this. Hotch was defined by his loyalty, which is why Haley leaving had been so hard. It was also what made Hotch unable to leave the team for his wife. Haley's demanding that Hotch choose her over the BAU had only been the final nail on the coffin. That relationship had been damned the moment Aaron joined the BAU.

But it didn't have to be that way for them, if there was a 'them'. "Hotch, I want you. All of you." Reid hoped that Aaron would get it through his head that Spencer was serious.

"You don't feel forced into this? Pressured? You want this?"

Reid gave a frustrated smile. "How many times do I have to say it? No, I don't feel pressured or forced. Yes, I want you. I've fallen in love with you, Hotch. You. Right now, how you are."

A weight that Aaron hadn't even realized had been on his chest was suddenly gone and he could breathe again. Spencer wasn't doing this because he felt like he had to – "God, I've fallen in love with you too." _There's that phrase again…_ "I want you, I want all of you… but, Spencer, I want you to be happy."

"YOU make me happy, Hotch." At that moment, all the pieces clicked in together. Even though it seemed too good to be true, even though it seemed like a dream, it was reality. Aaron was awake and in love with Spencer, who had said that he was in love with Aaron, and for the first time since his heart had broken, Hotch was filled with joy and hope.

"Then that's all I needed to hear," he said softly, before moved closer to where Reid sat on the couch, closing the distance between them and leaned in so their faces were centimeters apart. "Call me Aaron," he requested.

And then he kissed him.

The kiss was long, smooth, and left both men breathless. The reasons for putting everything on the line to be together were affirmed. Doubts, fears and concerns that had been present evaporated like the dew vanishes when the sun rises for a new day.

When they broke apart, Reid's eyes were shining and a smile lit up his face. Hotch smiled back at him, real happiness evident on his face. How had he gotten so lucky?

"Aren't you glad you're still not hiding in the closet?" Hotch asked a little later.

Spencer blushed slightly and chuckled. "I can't believe I did that… I really wasn't thinking straight last night..."

Hotch nodded. "At least we both have a new appreciation for the term 'coming out the closet,' right?"

Reid groaned. "You're not going to let me forget about that, are you?"

Aaron laughed. "No! And even if I did - you have an eidetic memory! You're just going to have to deal with that forever!"

Reid groaned louder.

They still had the logistics to work out. They needed to set boundaries for when they were at work – it was an unspoken necessity that this be kept quiet – and there would be other issues to figure out as well. But there was a silent pledge to do their best to make this work. For the moment, that was enough.

Together, they were enough.

_The End_… or rather, **The Beginning**


End file.
